Like a sign finally read after years of passing by,
turning down the path I’m required to take,
asking what happens in this time called “grief”.
There’s work to be done, putting a life away,
hidden fears discovered, and stories told of
what I was too close to see in our shared time.
The busyness loosens and tasks frustrate.
Suddenly I am distraught and yelling, lost
and alone, shaking in anger.
Sometimes my voice wobbles and eyes tear.
Sometimes I am happy in a new moment.
Sometimes I don’t know who I am.
Some who have walked this path tell me
it never ends, but it has corners of comfort
and grows less steep and rough.
I want to be . . .
I don’t know what this “new normal” is
yet.
Category: visual
Dried Roses
Learn by Going
I learn by going where I have to go.
Theodore Roethke – The Waking

I have learned to walk without a destination, except movement, grateful for the places unfurling before me. Where the twisting path ends, where I have gone my distance, is carefully limited now. I rest briefly then rise and continue alert for random beauty, walking forward till the destination we all encounter halts me.
An Old Friend’s Gift
Before the Cold
YouTube versus Text Instructions
I’ve been working with getting the some of my contacts into a label so I can connect Evite to it for a future party. This led to a couple of important learning experiences.
First, I set up the label and spent over an hour clicking on which contacts I wanted to add. (What can I say – I’m slow, and had some trouble making up my mind.) I was sure there was a way to add all of them at once but previously, I’d added addresses to labels one at a time by dragging them. When I went to hit a button I thought would do that, I lost all of the checks – over an hour’s work gone!
I was surprisingly calm, and left for a scheduled commitment. When I returned home, I went straight to Google and searched for “Add Contacts to Label in gmail” and found instructions, which I read faithfully. Many kept mentioning a button on the “Upper left”. I kept looking. I thought I knew which it was, and started checking off the contacts I wanted again.
Foolishly I spent a bit of time getting a bunch of them checked, then I thought to myself that maybe I should move contacts into the label in bunches, and see if my assumed button actually worked. I didn’t want to spend hours checking all of them off, and once again experiment. I did what I thought the instructions meant, and lost all these checks AGAIN!!!
Lesson 1:
Use only two or three checked contacts to try out what I think is the way to load contacts into a label, so as not to waste a huge amount of time checking off, then losing, a large number of checked contacts AGAIN!
I resumed using Google to search for instructions, trying different wording and orders of words. I continued feeling confused and lost with the text instructions. Tried a couple of possibilities with just two or three contacts checked off. Failed and failed again. (I’m of the Baby Boomer generation and print-oriented.) I tend to avoid YouTube, but when one link on my search included a YouTube site, I gave in and went to it.
Lesson 2:
A video showing the Contacts screen with verbal instructions is INFINITELY EASIER to understand than just text. Next time, I will go first to YouTube To find our how to do something.
So text, possibly written by people who already know how to do it and don’t know how to give clear descriptions for people who don’t already know how to do it, is not very helpful. The text instructions might work for those who already know how to do it and just need reminding. Or so I think.)
However, now I’m happy because I have my contacts whom I want to invite with Evite in their own label in Google Contacts. And I learned to click on the word, “Apply” or “Done” to make sure my work is saved. I also learned how to do a couple of other useful things from the video as well. 😄
Next challenge: how do I get my mate’s contacts, which he has in Apple Contacts, into my Google Contacts label.
Open Window

Summer-like open window
Distant hammers, distant highway:
Memories from an old photo album
Searchers Waiting

Pale birds, hopping, fluttering, flying –
Outside the window.
Inside,
People approach,
Hands together, bow –
Scarlet- robed Holy ones sit, nod.
One scarlet and gold draped chair
Waits.
The thangka paintings
Surround
The seated searchers.
Caregiver

“Take care of yourself” they said
But I didn’t know how
To be
That selfish.
“Like on a plane with a dependant” they said
“And the oxygen masks drop down,
Put yours on first;
That’s being responsible.”
Alone,
By the summer lake,
I feel the breeze.
December and Dismal Days

The dismal days of. December
Cloud my heart with cold thoughts.
Death is expected,
Despite the decorations.
I hear the calls for kindnesses:
I watch the lights appear.
Versions from the old story
Are sung in greedy descants.
Where can I find warmth
In this place of palaces,
Jewels, and feasts?
Where is my heart’s stable?



