Dodging alignments wastes
gifts,
slows coalescences
induces boredoms.
Learning the steps
of my dance
moves my deaf heart
into the vital whirl.
Yet pain or fear-shaped pauses
can refine
the texture of the path,
opening to unknown vistas.
Aligning
Tag: learning
The Impact of Reading
– 2019
Sometimes confusion or an unnamed feeling
explodes,
lit by words bursting
into meanings
previously hidden in darkness and silence.
Rejoice:
a part of your brain has
new synopses
shaping your
Mind.
Learning Pause and Patience
Life’s hard trips,
(battered knees from speeding,
and missed loves
from masked blindnesses,)
suggest I slow down,
and open my curtains.
Hard to learn
new rhythms
and how to speak
from nightsight.
Life’s strange trajectory
offers wonders and tragedies,
grace moments and opportunities,
and asks me
if I have time
to stay alive.
Lost Password
I’ve lost the password to what used to be my life.
The air is strange and I’m losing my sense of balance.
I search through remnants scattered in the home I sold,
Wondering what to keep, or sell, or trash.
In the coffeeshop, the chatter is of family discord:
Recent losses, expected deaths, and mangled hopes
Fall like tears from the balcony, splashing on me,
Where I sit, trying to create a new password.
Learn by Going
I learn by going where I have to go.
Theodore Roethke – The Waking
I have learned to walk without a destination, except movement, grateful for the places unfurling before me. Where the twisting path ends, where I have gone my distance, is carefully limited now. I rest briefly then rise and continue alert for random beauty, walking forward till the destination we all encounter halts me.
Dyscalculia
I’ve just read a very interesting post on a version of dyslexia that deals with numbers – http://www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/about-dyslexia/schools-colleges-and-universities/dyscalculia.html and now I understand a lot more about how my mind works, and doesn’t work.
I have trouble with left and right, and trying to read maps is painful and embarrassing. I also switch numbers (1,2,4,3,5 etc.) if I try to read them quickly. I have to be VERY careful with large numbers as I can confuse 1000 with 10,000, etc. Plus it’s very hard for me to remember telephone and other numbers, even dates in history. So I think I have dyscalculia. I am also mildly dyslexic, and have some trouble with spelling, but I love words and writing. Despite those limitations, or maybe because of them, I’ve been told repeatedly that I’m a good teacher, good at helping people learn.
I am deeply grateful that I was able to learn and develop tactics that allowed me to survive and thrive as a student and as a teacher. Both as a teacher and as a learner I have observed that people often don’t remember how they learned something; we just own and use what we’ve learned and move on. So I can’t remember how and from whom I learned my tactics for surviving my weaknesses by adapting my strengths to cover for them. The only way I can express my gratitude is to show others alternate learning and performing routes that might work for them. And share with everybody what I learn about how our human minds work, and how differences in how they work can be dealt with compassionately.
Giving people the space and opportunity to learn how they learn, and how they can deal with their weakness as well as their strengths is not only wise and kind, it creates a better world for all of us.
If you are reading this and think you might be dyscalculic, check out your sense of self-worth and see if you have learned to focus on adaptations to help you survive, or if you dwell too much on what you struggle with. Perhaps you need to acknowledge how hard you work, as much as what you can’t do easily. To boast and inspire, I eventually got my Ph.D. and posted my thesis on line – http://www.scribd.com/mobile/doc/2063617 and here’s my not quite up-to-date e-portfolio – https://joanvinallcox.wordpress.com/my-e-portfolio/
Why I Like gMail’s New Tabbed Inbox
This might make some of the people and organizations that send me emails unhappy, but why I like gmail’s new tabbed Inbox is because it makes it so easy to sort my mail, and throw out what I’m not interested in. Let me explain. I sign up for lots of stuff; I like having blogs I follow come into my inbox rather than using RSS. and a Reader. Lots of people, especially the highly tech-able ones, may criticize that, but it’s my habit, and I’m sticking to it. What this means is I get a lot of mail, and only some of it interests me. gMail’s new Inbox makes it easy for me to continue in my subscribing habits without being too overwhelmed or annoyed by piles of messages. Here’s what I do:
After checking my Primary tab for personal and important messages ( To learn how move messages so they land in your Primary tab – see https://joanvinallcox.wordpress.com/2013/08/21/gmails-new-inbox-tabs/ ) I go to one of my other tabs. The first thing I do is click the little box just above the Primary tab.
This will select all the messages in that tab.
(This works best on my laptop, and not so easily on my tablet or phone.)
I de-selecting the messages I want to keep, which I find easier than individually selecting the ones I have no interest in.
Once I’ve done separated out the ones I want to read, – –
I simply click on the trash can –
and all the checked and highlighted messages that I don’t want disappear. Easy and time-saving. I could individually check the boxes on the ones I don’t want, but I find it emotionally easier to make one (large) negative selection by clicking the box at the top, and then saving (unchecking) the ones I do want.
The nest and final post will explain how to get rid of the tabs and go back to the previous plain, untabbed gmail Inbox. Coming soon.
When Obligations Collide
When obligations collide, my heart unfolds.
I try to read what is written for tomorrow
without my glasses. I must decide.
This slippery road leads me into strange spaces.
The centre collapses unexpectedly, but the periphery
may knit into a new street view. I search.
Steering blindly by what is yet hidden
I try to avoid the road rages of others
and drive cleanly into the mystery. I meditate.
May 1, 2013 – Joan Vinall-Cox
Getting Older
A poem I wrote about the experience of getting older –
Getting Older Stings
Like a spray of hot pebbles – little stings that you feel but shrug off.
Slowly blisters form: skin over tears.
Nodding off during the news,
Getting no questions when I ask for a senior’s discount,
Noticing I think anyone under 50 is young,
Going to retirement parties,
Little stings.
Learning I’m two inches shorter,
Noticing I can’t run up stairs anymore,
Wobbling if I walk too far,
Hearing that child call me an old lady,
Blisters.
Socializing at funerals,
Listening for ages in death announcements
Fretting because I haven’t updated my will,
Wondering who that I love will ‘pass’
before I die.
Joan Vinall-Cox 2012
Learning Living 